The Cobb Effect
Scientists discovered the Cobb Effect
and devised the hat drive to navigate
hat space, measuring this hat space by
the cobb, and velocity by cobb/parsec;
the science is arcane, but to the psi of
the pilot there’s a clue: Hat.
Back, just for a wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey moment…
If you fancy de Lancie as Q
in Doctor Who, or Wash
in some Goonga tosh on Naboo,
or Snape in some jape
with the Judoon, or you’d pay
Jayne Cobb to bob on a lost moon
and bib with Muad’Dib,
then go the whole damn Narnia –
put Jadis in the TARDIS.
One Ood, two Ood,
Red Ood, blue Ood,
Singing sad Ood,
Red-eyed mad Ood,
Good Ood, bad Ood!
Hungry now Ood
Eating soul food.
Can’t be betta!
Do you like eating Shrimp Creole?
I do not like it, on the whole.
I do not like your Shrimp Creole.
Would you eat it here or there?
Would you eat it now or then?
I would not eat it here or there,
I would not eat it anywhere –
In Basin Street or Jackson Square!
I would not eat it now or then,
I would not eat it anywhen!
In fact I think I’m going to borrow
The TARDIS and come back tomorrow.
I hope I didn’t cause you sorrow
By turning down your Shrimp Creole.
Wheuss does not like it, on the whole!
Now the day is safely stowed, here’s something from Mardi Gras 2017 – I was asked to imagine a mash-up of Dr. Who and Dr. Seuss. You got it.
Doc’s in box.
“Cops” on box.
Doc’s in box and “Cops” on box.
“Cops” on box when Doc’s in box.
Clocks with ticks come.
Clicks with tocks come.
Clocks with ticks and clicks and tocks come.
Clara rocks in box with “Cops” on.
Doc’s in box where time tick-tocks on.
Time is wibbly, time is wobbly,
Wobble’s timey, wibble’s wimey,
Time is wibbly-wobbly stuffy.
Mister Doc, please don’t be huffy!
Time is useful, box is Wheuss-full,
Clara’s glass is orange-juiceful
With a pint in a half-pint-ful,
On the inside box is bigger,
Time is wobbly, you go figure!
Dock your time-box in a space-port,
You’ll discover that we all ought
To have a…
Docked Copsed tick-tock rocking wibbly-wobbly box
Chock-full of Clara’s Wheussful clicking clocks
And Doctor Wheuss on the loose!
What a trick!